When change looks and tastes good.

i'm pretty impressed with the leaps and bounds this page took over the past 24 hours.

i also tried a few new things lately, that are somewhat good, and others that are just down right nasty.

to the left we have a pile of old baby shoes. no they are locust pods, no they are one of the most disgusting things i've ever eaten: the fava bean. i didn't take this picture of the bean.

i took it from another blog where the author states

that he, too, stole the picture. so what.

fava beans are TERRIBLE. they taste like way too many beans at once. they have a smokey tinge of burned milk and a texture of biting into a beetle's abdomen. avoid the fava bean at all costs.

next up on our list is vanilla coke zero. i have been a huge fan of the pepsi max lately but alas, it wasn't on sale. i opted for the coke. it's ok. the vanilla flavor is smooth and takes the fake sugar flavor away a bit, but i'm not getting a daily dose of sugar in one can. i'm only slowly embalming my self one can of soda at a time.

and i think i'm already opting out of next year's presidential election (again.) the amount of sheer bullshit that has been spewing out of these idiots mouths is enough to turn anyone into a rabid raccoon.

the electoral process is a joke, and in this state we always favor a democrat.

i will be around to vote on november 8th of this year to re-elect our mayor for one last term.

at least locally, one vote is still one vote.

remember: politics are for people who have nothing better to do with their lives.

In full re(view) of everything around me.

i just got back from the supermarket after spending $2.50 on canned tuna and dutch coca cookies. i have holes in my pockets from lack of funds, mainly due to the fact that i was out a week's pay and am paying retro-active insurance for elsie. it was pretty neat seeing her SSN come in the mail and today she had her own insurance card. well worth the double on insurance that i am now paying.

there will be some changes to this site in days to come.

i am only going to type in lower case UNLESS I'M TRYING TO DRIVE A POINT HOME, LOUDLY.

this is due to the fact that the words move quicker from brain to page for me.

don't worry, my scholarly readers, i will still butcher the english language with run on sentences and, misplaced, commas,,,,,,,.

i tried to get a blog together on wordpress but feel more at home on the bloggers.

i also tried to delete my profile on the wordpress a few minutes to go, but couldn't navigate to the right place.

i think i'll delete pertinent information until it goes away.

WITH THAT:

i will be posting blogs about elsie, and my family as well as the usual cynically sarcastic banter.

prewarcondition is about me expressing my self and dammit, if you don't see eye to eye with what i am writing, too bad.

this past weekend was a whirlwind of fun and a bit of a scare.

it seems our youngest cat, ruby, had a bit of a fright on our bed and jumped on elsie's face, leaving three scratch marks along her right cheek.

the deepest one was about a quarter inch from her left eye SO we are grateful nothing permanent happened.

i forgive ruby for her mistake.

elsie took it like a trooper and the cuts are diminishing as i speak.

MEDIA NEWS:

i have been on an intense and almost obsessive Faith No More/Mr. Bungle phase as of late. i found some choice live downloads and have been mostly listening to Faith No More's classic 'King For A Day...Fool For A Lifetime. i am in prep for their playing of the album all the way through in Santiago, Chile on November 8th. of course i won't be there but am anxious to see if it will be streamed live or on the youtubes.
this will be the first time the guitarist who played on it-multi instrumentalist Trey Spruance will have played the album live- as back in 1995, he backed out of going on tour, to support the album.

I also happened to use an Amazon.com birthday gift card to by 'Mr. Show-the complete series.'

I used to own seasons 1&2. Now i have the whole shebang. i can't even get into how funny and offbeat the skits are on these dvds. if you know what i'm talking about then you know what i'm talking about.

Other music i've been listening to: scorn, blank stare, kondor, fantomas, brazilian lounge music, portishead.

i am also very hungry ALL OF THE TIME.

bring us some food.

The velvet rope.

Three weeks tomorrow. Yes. Three weeks. That is how long Elsie has been upon this mortal coil. These past three weeks have been a cavalcade of fun, emotion and feeling very, very tired. My alcohol consumption-which at one point was legendary-has been replaced with an ever growing need for caffeine and ginseng.

I regretted going back to work last week, as i am missing out on lots of quality time. It is important that i work though, because i am the sole insure of our dear girl.

Last week was also when both Terri and i found out just how 'easy' being parents is , so far. That was until we went to the mall.

You cannot use strollers on the escalators. which means finding a department store or using the really dirty and hot one that lords over the food court.

We had periodic feedings and one changing. That meant going to babies 'r us to use the mommy room.

The mommy room: an oasis of calm in an consumer storm.

There are two love seats, a changing table and the sign on the outside of the door to the room says 'knock before entering.'

Forget about heading to the arcade, forget about going to the video game store or the media store, we were on an covert mission.

I ended up eating a whole box of Dots as we made our way back across the mall, from getting lawn bags at The Christmas Tree Shops.

Today i am making my way to TD Bank to close my account. They sent me a letter stating that if i don't keep $100 in my account every month, they will charge me a $15 maintenance fee. I transfer just enough to cover my car payments with $4 left over each month. I already found the last two payment slips for my payments SO it look like i'll have to wait in line one last time to save $15.

It's going to be great to have an extra $180 in my pocket every month.

Other: i am not the 'other 99%' of any of this garbage that is going on. I don't belong to any of this false idealism. If i could find a way tomorrow to become really rich, and make my families life better, then that's my right. A lot of these people protesting don't realize that they are trying to interject democratic ideals into a capitalist system.

O.k.

More occupy Wall Street sites!

www. occupy-my-need-to-look-cool-in-black.org

www.this-is-our-sixties-style-revolution.org

www.i'm-way-too-much-into-the-movie-v-for-vendetta.org

www.i-don't-want-to-work-but-want-money-now!.org

www.whiney-trustafarian.org.

www.anarchydude!.org

www.occupy-space-without-having-your-facts-together.org

www.it-looked-cool-so-now-i'm-doing-it-too.org

www.occupy-the-toilet-at-the-local-starbucks.org

www.next-week-i'll-go-back-to-my-lousy-barista-job.org

www.i'm-costing-taxpayers-money-by-getting-arrested-for-my-righteousness.org

www.like-stuff's-all-bad-and-like-money-and-rich-dudes-and-stuff-you-know.org

I've been on both sides of the coin on this one. But at least it tried to gather knowledge before i stepped on my words.

This whole thing looks like a bad Rage Against The Machine video.

Here's to finding constructive use of one's time!

VIVA LA REVOLUCION!

Proudest moments.

Sorry for the sloppy lay out of this post, but you get the picture...or pictures.

These are pictures of my mom and dad with Elsie. I cannot tell you how it made me feel to see both of my parents not only holding my daughter but their grandchild. It was an overwhelming feeling of joy and elation as well as pride.

I feel that i am the luckiest son on the planet, and was overjoyed to have both my mom and dad in my home as well as my step father Peter, who was at my place when my mom got to hold Elsie for the first time, and the wonderful gifts that my step mother, Barbara helped find for Elsie.

The warmth that has melted my heart is a gift the little Elsie gave to me the moment i first heard her cry to when i look over and see her string here and there.

It was rough to go back to work tonight BUT, every penny i earn goes to the family, even if today, i turned 38.

We had a small celebration last night. Jackson is in Whately for the next week on vacation as Terri is flying solo with Elsie as i work.

As we ate and talked about time and age, i mentioned that i finally feel as though i can call my self a man. Which is a pretty intense thing to admit to.

but i'm ready to be a dad, a man and i could have only done it with the wisdom that my parents have bestowed upon me in their conventional and unconventional ways.

The new way.

We have had many changes here at he 10 Clark. Most notably, the arrival of our daughter. i have gone through similar changes that happened through our new arrival, and the new perspective that came with her.

I used to be a king slacker. I used to go to sleep late and wake late, letting things slide in order to sate my need for comfort. what the heck? nothing was going on, so a little down time is n't bad, is it?

I found out really quickly that having had my guard down for so many years took it's toll on me.

I am up for the task of taking care of our daughter and of Terri as she heals from her Cesarean. I don't mind at all that i have to take care of everything while she tends to Elsie. It's a labor of love.

The thing is: it's only been two days since we came back.

I talk big now, but what's next or what will come down the road?

Honestly, i don't know.

And i don't care. I can only take care of what's happening right now. not what i can't predict or see.

Terri and i were discussing it yesterday between diaper changes and feedings and it comes down to the fact that we want to stay on top of things from the get go. Not that if we slip a little things will fall apart, but that it's easier to get air with your head above water than to constantly gulp.

I look over at my family and want to be on point as much as possible, so i can give the most that i can.

Example: the past two days Terri woke me around eight in the morning the past two days to tell me she was hungry. i immediately shot up out of bed to provide food for her and ultimately for Elsie.

Helping without question was not one of my strong points when i was living my life before we became a family. It felt like doing a job and not for or out of love instead.

When love becomes a job, it's not a job at all. You have to work at it and keep going without question.

Please welcome Elsie Maureen Fowler

24 hours of labor.

Worth every minute.

Elsie and Terri are the world to me now.

I can't wait to share the best of my self with them.

Here are more photos:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/23632423@N02/sets/72157626907989512/

My special thanks go to Charlene, who is the best maternity nurse in the business.