Elsie's grandmother just picked her up. I am watching the show 'Good Eats,' as I am a big fan of the show. I am going to get some to go food on the way to my McJob. This will be the third day that my stomach has been doing cartwheels. Even though I was administered a flu shot, this bug hit me pretty hard. Others have been getting physically sick, but I passed that hurdle. I am fatigued, pasty and constantly hungry. I keep eating acetaminophen and drinking lots of fluids. I haven't kissed Elsie on the cheek in as many days that I have been ill. I'm really trying here and am looking forward and working hard to make it to the first 90 say mark of being sober. It hasn't been easy on my family. I have been hard on Terri over the dumbest things and don't even know why I am doing it! The good thing is that as I progress away from my last drink, most of the confusion and duress subsided. My brain had gotten so used to this lather, rinse, repeat cycle and I had made Terri responsible for most of my emotions and conduct, that I didn't know how to act. I do now know. I stop my self when the frustration rises. I am trying to be here now in the moment for my family as much as I can. This post wasn't meant to inspire or to be a caution to others, as I am in no shape to help anyone else yet. I was so I could find grounding with my writing. I want to be a better person and a good human. It's going to take a long time to clean up after the storm.
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