Emasculation Part 1.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not much of a man's man. I don't know how to play Texas Hold 'em, I am lousy on a grill and I hate fixing things.

I do however, have the man's trait of a good natured brow beating and am no stranger to making fun of my own faults and those of my peers.

I think the measure of a real man is the ability to make mistakes, learn from them and to laugh at one's self.

Too many manly men use force and brood too much. Usually about everything that is outside of their control.

My idea of fun is making a meal and watching a movie. Not clear cutting a forest.

I prefer to stay inside than try to conquer the world. I'll never be in a competitive eating contest.

Besides, I've seen manly men who are my age and they are a haggard lot.

I try to be fair in my judgments, even when i'm judging someone. I try not to stick out too far with anything I do. I learned early on to save the antics for the stage.

You are probably wondering why there is a picture of an obnoxiously yellow VW Beetle on this page.

The Subaru is in the shop for a major and expensive overhaul.

It is the rental car which was bestowed upon me by my mechanic.

And yes, that is a New York plate.

My mechanic has a sick sense of humor.

It's transportation. I need to get to work. In some circles I would be getting high fives and pats on the back for scoring a sweet ride.
The circle I run with...not so much.

I didn't get this car on my sweet sixteen birthday nor did I lose a bet, although I am afraid my testosterone is being robbed from my just thinking of the thing.

The Subaru is in the shop for a major and expensive overhaul.

I am dreading the moment that I pull into the parking lot of the warehouse where I work.

I cannot wait for the ball busting to ensue.
The fellas may go as far as buying me a daisy to put in the flower holder next to the steering wheel.
And these fellas also love their New England sports teams so the N.Y. tag will be oh so special.

And who's not going to notice? THE THING LOOKS LIKE IT'S WEARING A FISHERMAN'S RAINCOAT!
Jebbus, look at the freaking thing. It looks like it's smiling.

Do I want to drive a car that smiles?!?

The ride is nice enough but even my neighbor and friend Remi, said she couldn't possibly picture me getting out of the thing.

When the renter asked me if I wanted insurance I declined. Who could possibly run into this!?!

It looks like a giant zit, a safety vest, a kids drawing of a real car.

This is the 'un-manliest' thing I have driven.

I am going to order a double whopper with cheese and extra meat and I'll eat it in the damned thing, just to get the wimp stink out of it.

Anyway, I'll be 'riding dirty' in the sour patch car all weekend.

Try not to throw snowballs at me.