#100.

hi everyone.
you know, a lot of us have been or are just starting to or will go through the metamorphosis of quitting the drink.
some of us may label ourselves as sober, an alcoholic, addict etc. and carry the weight of that label until who knows when.

i am a proud 'alcoholic.'

i want and have been striving to become more than that: the self that uses kindness, patience and understanding to deal with living. the self that i always dreamed of but due to faulty wiring, couldn't.

the ' i can't do it' and 'sobriety is too hard' gets replaced with 'what's next!?' and ' i can handle this' and:
'even if things suck, at least i'm clear headed enough to know that i am good enough for my self again and i am kicking addiction's behind by being the example i know i've always been.'

in my opinion, it's a fucking cop out to give in to your own weakness by acting like a wounded victim because you don't have a crutch like alcohol to mask your real problems anymore.

no more teetering on the edge of relapse.

no more feeling ashamed or lost because you can't have the bottle.

no more counting moments instead of living them.

no more consent to weakness.

no more looking down, or away.

no more 'i can't.'

my armor is my clear mind. my weapon is my new found understanding.

(if i can remain clear, anyone can.)