Jackson is teaching me about leadership and motivation.

We made our way along The Motherland's side streets today, Jackson on point and myself in tow.

We had to stop every few feet so that he could catch a scent of something old or new...a trail to follow.

We would come to a cross walk and he would automatically sit. I would then give him an automatic treat as he has been very good so far today.

We round the corner and lurking inside a nearby house is a dog barking. He patiently goes by with a sideways glance to where the sound is coming from. I easily glide him away with the leash. The leash is the tether from me to Jackson, that is also the tether to myself and our home.

I have been religiously walking Jackson almost every day. it gives us a chance to bond, to get some exercise and to help me wake up.
No more mornings of staring at the bedroom ceiling, wondering why and who i am anymore.
I have a duty to make sure we both go for a walk.

I have found, as the title of this piece divulges, that these walks have not only helped us both physically, but they have helped me to chin up and gain more confidence.

I have more energy and i feel better for it mentally as well.

I think it might have to do with waking up and diving right into something.

i think it might have to do with having to focus as soon as i awaken.

Anyway, i really like it.

I didn't know which way things would go, with taking these walks, when i first started. I didn't think that i'd enjoy it at all.

Over a month into it, i came to the above conclusions and that's motivation enough to continue.

So thanks Jackson.

Thanks again.

Twelve long years.

Just for the record, i DID NOT drive a bomb loaded crappy forklift off of a dock.

Last week was the anniversary of the twelfth year that i have spent, under my current company's employ.

The day went by with me forgetting this fact, and it's the way i wanted it.

BUT i must digress.

I have done as much growing as the company i work for has. I have rebelled against everything they shoved my way, grew to appreciate the fact that i have a job, where i work in a great building and with a great crew of people.

I started the job in the middle part of 1999 after a bitter break up in Boston. My idea was to come back to the valley and spend a month or two off, then maybe work for one of the cafes or restaurants in Northampton. My brother was already working for the same company i'd join, so i decided that it'd be better to work for a greater wage and not wash dishes and maybe become a prep cook.

I ended up starting as a temp and proved my self worthy of full time, so in August of 1999 i was a full time stock handler.

I wasn't the best employee by any standard. I had a chip on my shoulder and thought i was too cool for everyone due to my extra curricular activities. Basically, for the first five years of employment i was always on warning for something or other and a general pain in most of my managers asses.

It wasn't until i ended up in offsite that i came into my own. Our offsite buildings are less stocked with people, so the those of us that are in offsite, are bigger links in a smaller chain.

I ended up learning a LOT more in the past five years than in the first.

I was 'promoted' in 2008 to work in a closer offsite to the main distribution center in Deerfield.

It was my self and one other worker, during second shift.

Things worked out really well, and we have a great working relationship, even when we took on other people and now have a crew of six full time employees and four temps.

I have processed huge orders going into the millions of dollars. I have loaded and unloaded hundreds of trailers and containers. I have moves hundreds of millions of dollars worth of product and have been in charge of millions of dollars worth of merchandise with little or no supervision, sometimes.

Pretty cool huh?

Looking back over the past twelve years brings back many great moments: Meeting friends and hanging out after work, the stock handler parties we'd put on, going out en masse to Amherst or Northampton, joking around with everyone (which still happens on a daily basis), the cookouts my manager has every once in a while,working in the lab, making new product, the long hours that ended up sustaining my crazy life outside of the job, and the work that we put in every day to help the brand be it's best.

There are two types of workers anywhere: the one's that are there for the love of the product, and those that are there for money. I am of the latter but sometimes i like to hear from people that the like our product. I like to see them talk about their favorite fragrance, or when will we get a certain fragrance back?

Shit, the place is getting to me...

...i think i'll stay here for a while longer, maybe try to become a supervisor some day and then spend the last couple of years working on a machine or something. I don't know.

I couldn't predict the future back in 1999 when my rent was handed to me by my girlfriend of three years and i was told to go, but I've learned a LOT since then and have become very wise to almost anything that has been thrown my way.

Anyway, thanks for reading this and i hope you are doing fine.

**************BABY NEWS!********************BABY NEWS!*************************

Elsie had the hiccups in the womb last night. Terri tells me it felt very weird.

Everything is on track with Elise. She is doing well and Terri is handling everything with her enduring grace.

We went through everything from the baby shower and WOW, i can't say enough about how nice it was and how cool everyone was. Thanks again!

We were able to buy a new stroller for Elsie. It's super cool and super safe. I can't wait to rock the block with it while i am walking Jackson.

Elsie's nursery is coming together quite nicely. We used two coats of primer, two coats of paint and i had to scrape the ceiling. It is a nice, subtle lavender for Eslie to enjoy. Terri's dad helped put in the cieling light, Terri's uncle Ray put the rug in and then the following week, Walter, Terri's step father, put the crib together.
On Saturday, Pad and I put the baby's dresser together....by the way: screw you IKEA!

We only have a month to go until E-Day.

As usual: stay tuned.

FINALLY...

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-west-memphis-3-20110820,0,5874148.story

Like an old stove...

Ladies and gentlemen, i bring you the old stove that was in our kitchen.
We were so lucky to know that this relic was included with the house...and promptly made it's way out.

But look at it, really look at it.
The thing is a piece of sublime art.
It has literally no space to cook in, worn or lost dials four burners and what looks like a prep area? A prep area for the foil Swanson meals that were around when this thing was made?
I think it was from the sixties or early seventies. Now it's a car door or a piece of re-bar.

I kind of liked it the way i like classic cars: really nice to look at but could be dangerous, expensive to fix, and would waste a lot of gas to use.

So we opted for a brand new fridge and gas oven.

The new oven has been a real dream, except cleaning. It has these two iron grates over the burners, and the inside is really hard to clean after a spill.

BUT i cooked my first turkey for thanksgiving, charred green peppers on the burner and made all manner of vegetable and meat with the stove.
I have baked, broiled, basted and braised.
I have seared, steamed and sauteed.

Stoves are just as important as your fridge.
They are also more integral than a fridge because you create with an oven. You sustain life, you are the master of its quirks.

Each oven is the same off the assembly line, yet becomes your own as you wear one in.

I have been the guest of many ovens in my day but have never owned one brand new, so i can consider myself lucky that Terri not only bought the set, but let me pick out the oven as i am the 'chef' of the house.

Things will be shifting soon enough with the baby on the way. We will become better friends with our food processor and blender. I already found some great yam and pea recipes to feed Elsie.

I will round this out by saying thank you to the old stove as it brought much amusement to the inspector, his protege, and the rest of us on inspection day.

Have a great Friday!

Things are not what they seem.

Yes, my friends. The picture to the left is a motorcycle and/or car trailer that says 'EL NAZI' on it.

This picture was taken last year, when i went to Willimantic, Connecticut, to see a reunion show for and old club called Studio 158.

The club that Jon, Lyndsey and i went to is called 'The Wrench in the Works Collective.'

It's in an old, old factory and 'EL NAZI' belonged to the Spanish guys chop shop that was attached to the building.

'The Wrench' is a cozy room. It's an open space with some tables, a place for the bands to play and a sofa. And then there are the books.

Thousands of books on philosophy, feminist theory, revolts, struggles anything and everything to do with leftist thinking.

when we walked in after paying our $5, the proprietor told us we could 'peruse the literature.'

Listen, i came all the way from The Motherland (Easthampton) to see my friends band play and to see some people from back in the day. I didn't come in to read someone's graduate thesis on why the Cuban missile Crisis was good for communism, or why i have a penis and should feel guilty.

BUT, they were really nice at the place and i liked the old architecture as well as the ivy plant that was making it's way through the window crack and along the interior wall of the space.

The weird thing too: everyone was drinking beer. Cheap beer. I saw many a Bud Light Lime float around as i was having a coffee.

I guess the revolution can wait when you are 'grabbing some buds.'

I may seem harsh but i wasn't too happy to have gone this far to end up in a supposedly culturally froward place while the whole neighborhood around the club was a slum.

Why not get out of your clean, well lit place and make a real difference, instead of singing about it and going back to your McJob?

So it went from 'EL NAZI' to this.

'ElL NAZI' was the talk of all of us. I had to snap a picture.

I didn't get very far into much else this time.

Don't get me wrong: i believe in this cause but sometimes not the execution of it in this manner.

Dear Hollywood...

...please stop rehashing movies from my youth. I am sick of you raping my memories of what inspired me.

I realize that this is a trivial subject, but to those who don't know the 'classics' the way they should be seen, have no business seeing them in the first place.

John Carpenter's The Thing from 1982, was a remake. The original was 'The Thing Form Another World' that came out in 1951. Which, in my opinion, was hokey at best.
It was a 50's sci-fi matinee movie. NOT the mind blowing bloodbath that John Carpenter graced us with in the early 80's.

The film is so overtly gory, so brazen in it's one up-ing of how messed up and clever the alien is, it can't be duplicated.

The sheer element of desperation that was continually played out over and over sucks you in and never lets go.

So why re-make it? Why not just release the 1982 film and let the people see the best?

I really don't know. I did hear that it's easy to remake films such as Conan The Barbarian, Fright Night, Clash Of The Titans, Red Dawn, The Karate Kid, They Live, Total Recall, Romancing The Stone, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday The Thirteenth, Arthur, The Mechanic, Conquest of The Planet of the Apes...do i really need to go on?

So what is it that brings these movies back in a most poor fashion?

1) The studio already owns the rights. They have these films on file and just sprinkle some new 'magic' on an old story.

2) CGI. It's supposed to add something to a movie. Sometimes it does. Other times it just overtakes an already thin plot line.

3) There are no good writers left. This is not at all true. But look at reason #1. Why pay someone for a story when you can re hash an already done thing.

Most of the movies from the 80's and 90's are from an era when the blockbuster was still a real blockbuster. All the studios are trying to do is re live the golden years and make a quick buck. The integrity that was put into making 1982's The Thing, where they actually shot on an research site in the middle of a blizzard, can be reproduced digitally. It took harder work to get get the results they used to get, but Hollywood doesn't want to do it in some cases. It just wants to fill seats.

The sad thing is, they had to pick the time period where i was seeing the real thing, no matter how hokey the films could be.

I shrugged when they started to remake t.v. shows into movies like Transformers and G.I. Joe.

I felt like my memories and innocence were being sucked out of myself and anyone else that had the toys and watched the shows.

I have relented, as the movies were FAR inferior to even those dated cartoons.

I'm not boycotting the whole remake idea. I really like the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre from 2003. That says a lot for me as the original Toby Hooper classic from 1974 is the greatest horror movie i have ever laid eyes on.

I know you won't be able to stop this from happening, these re makes, but i am always going to go back to these older, better movies no matter what.

They mean a lot to me and even if i know every frame of film, i'll be glad to pop in The Thing on a cold winter's day and revel in the fact that it's been with me in one form or another for the past 25 years.

By the way Hollywood: if you ever mess with Blade Runner, we will have some very serious issues.

Thanks for following me on this not-so-serious bit of news.

Sources:

http://www.imdb.com

http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/261202/46_movie_remakes_and_reboots_currently_in_the_works.html

For every action: a reaction.

I resign my self to be a pretty rational person. i step up when i have to and enjoy my down time just as many of you do, too. I sometimes make art and i sometimes don't. Three years ago, i wrote and created over five hundred puns, designed thirteen 'monster' pictures, and over twenty paintings using a simple paint program. I was also actively making music and enjoying culture. Now, not so much. I created the image you see here using an updated paint program that came with Windows Seven. The program is cool as you can see the black brush strokes look like paint strokes. The effect may or may not change the way i create any of these quickie one off works, but it will look a lot better than the old program that came with Windows Ninety-eight.

Now i guess i'm in the business of creating life.

Not a bad trade off, i think.
But what is really art?
A creation of expression?
A wandering into someone's soul?
A product that is a bigger commodity once one's dead?

My idea of art is just pure expression. I am obviously not trained in the arts. I just express my self. I feel art should come naturally. I can't be forced by academia. You can't take a mail in course, draw a pirate, and then you are an artist.

It doesn't work like that.

I think that's why i can't stand the idea of Andy Warhol even being considered and artist. He may have studied hype, but not art. I think he went with the next lower tier of art as commodity and not as self expression.

I mean it worked, but some poor souls had him as a bench mark and were passed over by his supposed brilliance.

Anyway, as unsubstantiated as the above remarks may seem, you can't really put a price on art or expression. When you do that, you may make money but you cheapen the concept.

Take the above piece.
Is it art?
What would you buy it for?
I didn't sign it.
You could save it to your own computer, call it yours and make millions.
Probably not, but guess what?
I really don't care.

I am listening to music that i downloaded for free. I didn't mooch it, the artist had all of his albums up for free and offered his art for all to hear. Some of it is good, really good Electronica. Others miss the mark. I love to listen to it when i'm writing as it inspires me.

Do you think the artist has accomplished what he set out to do?

It took him about four years to make the three albums. And he offered them up on a silver platter for all to hear.

My thanks to him are the words i am writing and the same ones you are reading.

The way he produced the sounds really motive me to write, create.

Will he ever read this?
Will our paths cross?
Probably not.
You never know in this day and age what can happen.
Especially in cyberspace.

I guess i can wrap this up by saying that true art is not a commodity, it is self expression that is supposed to inspire you to continue writing, making art or music or what ever and to pass that along by well...expressing your self.

True artists never 'make it.' I think they have to keep pushing limits to reach enlightenment.

Anyway, here's the link to Kondor. He was in a band in Australia before he ended up in merry old England.

I like it. Maybe you will too.

http://kondor.bandcamp.com/

Smiegel: a gecko and so much more.

Look out it's a beast! A leviathan from a desert nuclear testing site!

Just kidding. it's our Eublepharis macularius

duh.

Also known as a Leopard Gecko.

I didn't name her. It's a cliche, i know but she is a sign of the times.

I met Smiegel when i started dating Terri, over six years ago.

She is a gecko. Not much going on except a lot of sleeping and eating. We feed her once a week. A feast of crickets fit for a queen.

I found out a bit back that this is one of the heartier of the species as they live a very long life. i'm happy too because she can actually be affectionate in her own right. if you get her out of the cage, she loves to have the bottom of her chin rubbed. We haven't taken her out for a bit because of Jackson. She would be a nice snack.

Some favorite memories of being with her are: catching crickets in the back yard of our old place and seeing her eat them. The day she molted and had a translucent gecko hanging off of her.

The day we gave her her newer and bigger cage and how she ran around excited about all of the space she now had.

I figured that i'd give her the due that she deserved, because she is a silent partner in our family.

I know she's just a lizard and doesn't do much, but we have had her for a long time and she will be a great learning tool for Elsie.

So here you are, Smiegel. You are starring in your own blog post.

Cheers.

Ruby: the young and the restless.

As ramshackle as this picture is, it was taken on the days after we moved to the 10 Clark. As you can see, Ruby is helping us unpack.

Ruby. The fighter, the kneader, the little booger bean.

Ruby was born at our last residence. Our landlords cat had a litter of kittens and she was a shy, gray puffball. She seemed to be a very reserved and extremely shy kitten. Little did we know that Ruby was just biding her time to unleash her inner demon.

She is a super affectionate kittie. This past year she became a little woman. I attached my self to her after losing Pepe and she became my other little girl. She doesn't take any of Jackson's nonsense either. As much as Lily shuns Jackson, Ruby will give him a swat on the nose when he's being pushy.

The reason i love her so much is her attitude. When she wants something she will go ahead and grab it. Her love of plastic knows no end.

She is very outgoing and willing to try new things. I love the fact that she came out of her shell and became a little woman.

I could go without her claws digging into my stomach when she wants affection but look at her; she's a dreamboat!

So here's to you, Ruby. For helping me heal from loss and for being such a spunky and endearing pet.

Lily: the beautiful flower.

Continuing on our tour of pets, i had to mention Lily.

I'll get to Ruby and Smiegel later. This one is for her.

Terri owns Lily. I mean this maybe in the opposite because the lines are blurred. Lily is the undisputed queen of the house. She is a very affectionate and very beautiful cat. Terri has had her since she was born back in 2003.

Lily can be a bit of a diva. which is fine because she earns every bit of her pomp and circumstance by being very affectionate. She will wake me in the morning by sitting on my chest, giving me the eyes that you see in the picture to the left.

She fell in love with my late cat Senor Pepe and i have the pictures to prove it.

She is a gentle cat who likes to play, but no rough stuff.

Lily likes to be pampered, which is fine with me because she is a beautiful little lady.

Lily has a bunch of sisters and brothers somewhere. But she is unique and great in her own right.

Terri told me that she went missing from home and became pregnant. unfortunately, she lost the whole litter. This was some time before Lily and i met, so i'm sure i'd be distraught.

We love her so much. She does this cute thing called 'the bear' when we give her treats. She'll get on he hind legs and grab for the treat like a dancing bear.

I am so happy that with my lovely mom to be,Terri, i also happened upon such a beautiful creature.

She is especially funny when we put her witch costume on. She hates it so much, the look on her face is priceless.

So, that is Lily. She is a one of a kind sweetheart and i think the above picture really says it all.

Thanks for letting me share her with you.

Jackson is my new best friend.

The picture on the left is Jackson. I mentioned him about two blogs back, and many times before. he will be my partner in crime from now on. he came to us when we first moved into the 10 Clark last year. He is now a very active member of our family. I enjoy his company mostly because he has a tremendous personality and a sweet heart.

His story is this: he was part of a litter born under someones stairs. We never found out how many brothers and sisters he had, but we know that his mom is an Border Collie and his dad is a Labrador.
We know that his previous owner was really quite cruel to him in the fact that he or she kept him locked in a dog crate for the first five months of his life. This stunted his socialization skills. The person finally gave him up to a no kill shelter just outside of Salem. He ended up at a training camp for police dogs. From what i remember, the guy trained mostly German Shepard's, but took on Jackson to get him up to speed.

That is when Terri found him on a web site and now he's ours forever.

Admittedly, i was not too enthused by this situation as our cats Lily and Ruby were just used to their new surroundings and to this day, Jackson and Lily are mortal enemies.

He also had problems with acting out. He would get crazy and i have many scars on my arms to prove it. It was a difficult few months but he soon melted my heart.

I mean, look at that picture and tell me you couldn't love this guy!?

We ended up putting him on a very low dose of Prozac, and he is the better for it, as he isn't as anxious as he used to be.

So he still goes to classes every week and is a very very good boy compared to when he first arrived.

What does he mean to me? He's my friend and comrade. He helped me to be more gentle and my reward is his undying loyalty.

I didn't think i was a dog person at all. I'm still not. I'm a Jackson person.

I just wanted to document his story in case you were wondering about him.

Plus the picture is pretty cool too.