Twelve long years.

Just for the record, i DID NOT drive a bomb loaded crappy forklift off of a dock.

Last week was the anniversary of the twelfth year that i have spent, under my current company's employ.

The day went by with me forgetting this fact, and it's the way i wanted it.

BUT i must digress.

I have done as much growing as the company i work for has. I have rebelled against everything they shoved my way, grew to appreciate the fact that i have a job, where i work in a great building and with a great crew of people.

I started the job in the middle part of 1999 after a bitter break up in Boston. My idea was to come back to the valley and spend a month or two off, then maybe work for one of the cafes or restaurants in Northampton. My brother was already working for the same company i'd join, so i decided that it'd be better to work for a greater wage and not wash dishes and maybe become a prep cook.

I ended up starting as a temp and proved my self worthy of full time, so in August of 1999 i was a full time stock handler.

I wasn't the best employee by any standard. I had a chip on my shoulder and thought i was too cool for everyone due to my extra curricular activities. Basically, for the first five years of employment i was always on warning for something or other and a general pain in most of my managers asses.

It wasn't until i ended up in offsite that i came into my own. Our offsite buildings are less stocked with people, so the those of us that are in offsite, are bigger links in a smaller chain.

I ended up learning a LOT more in the past five years than in the first.

I was 'promoted' in 2008 to work in a closer offsite to the main distribution center in Deerfield.

It was my self and one other worker, during second shift.

Things worked out really well, and we have a great working relationship, even when we took on other people and now have a crew of six full time employees and four temps.

I have processed huge orders going into the millions of dollars. I have loaded and unloaded hundreds of trailers and containers. I have moves hundreds of millions of dollars worth of product and have been in charge of millions of dollars worth of merchandise with little or no supervision, sometimes.

Pretty cool huh?

Looking back over the past twelve years brings back many great moments: Meeting friends and hanging out after work, the stock handler parties we'd put on, going out en masse to Amherst or Northampton, joking around with everyone (which still happens on a daily basis), the cookouts my manager has every once in a while,working in the lab, making new product, the long hours that ended up sustaining my crazy life outside of the job, and the work that we put in every day to help the brand be it's best.

There are two types of workers anywhere: the one's that are there for the love of the product, and those that are there for money. I am of the latter but sometimes i like to hear from people that the like our product. I like to see them talk about their favorite fragrance, or when will we get a certain fragrance back?

Shit, the place is getting to me...

...i think i'll stay here for a while longer, maybe try to become a supervisor some day and then spend the last couple of years working on a machine or something. I don't know.

I couldn't predict the future back in 1999 when my rent was handed to me by my girlfriend of three years and i was told to go, but I've learned a LOT since then and have become very wise to almost anything that has been thrown my way.

Anyway, thanks for reading this and i hope you are doing fine.

**************BABY NEWS!********************BABY NEWS!*************************

Elsie had the hiccups in the womb last night. Terri tells me it felt very weird.

Everything is on track with Elise. She is doing well and Terri is handling everything with her enduring grace.

We went through everything from the baby shower and WOW, i can't say enough about how nice it was and how cool everyone was. Thanks again!

We were able to buy a new stroller for Elsie. It's super cool and super safe. I can't wait to rock the block with it while i am walking Jackson.

Elsie's nursery is coming together quite nicely. We used two coats of primer, two coats of paint and i had to scrape the ceiling. It is a nice, subtle lavender for Eslie to enjoy. Terri's dad helped put in the cieling light, Terri's uncle Ray put the rug in and then the following week, Walter, Terri's step father, put the crib together.
On Saturday, Pad and I put the baby's dresser together....by the way: screw you IKEA!

We only have a month to go until E-Day.

As usual: stay tuned.

'I need a vacation from my self.'

We all have a job to do. Your job is something you trained for or something that you fell into, to sustain your life style.

I am in the latter category.

I like my job, most of the time. I usually find the mental and physical challenges stimulating to say the least. I work with a small crew of five, including my self. We take care of an entire warehouse between the hours of two and ten P.M.

Having been at my company for over eleven years, I am beginning to show major signs of burn out.

No matter what great morning I went through -especially Thursday- my mood sinks as soon as I hit the parking lot of the warehouse. I eat the days foraging, sinking ever further into the little ball that I become when I am getting ready to clock in.

I used to extend hellos to people, now I just shrug or say 'hi' quickly and don't make eye contact.

I lead the stretch break with mild enthusiasm, and then we begin the process...the same process.

The same brown boxes being moved. The same dreary grey warehouse and the same sameness over and over again.

UGH.

Which is why I propose this, my friends.

A sabbatical.

An employee should be evaluated for job fatigue by out Human Resources department an told they need to go on a sabbatical. We should be given an alloted amount of time to return to work and to re evaluate and reflect on our job and our position at said job in the first place.

My job has a leave of absence program, which is nice, but there is no guarantee any more that your job will be there when you return.

Personally speaking, I could use a solid three months off. I am due for another cross country trek. The last one was in 1993 and it left me with enough memories to last well into the 2000's.

I need a reboot, badly.

It's not enough to tell my self: 'you have a baby on the way, stay the course. Don't try to get another job because the economy and job market are crap. Don't forget how great he company is for you monetarily.'

Even that ideal in some but not all respects, has become burned out.

I could go on tour as a roadie for a friends band. I could get in my car and drive, drive, drive. I could see Chicago again. I could finish writing my music and help get the house in order. I could really push my self to become more healthy than I am now and regain my focus. I could enrich my self through learning, music, art, culture again without having to arrange those pursuits around a work schedule.

But reality is a cruel bitch. We have to do the things we do.

Most of us do that thing for someone else. It's just one of life's little inconveniences.
It is also, in some respects, what makes us who we are.
To mess with that line of reality in my circumstance could have an effect on more than my self. I remember that every day and it keeps me grounded and it makes me less selfish.
So what I really need to do is try to focus on the better things that are going on in my life, remembering why I am at my job: it lets me have everything that I have.

Which is why I and a couple of billion others rise to the occasion. To fulfill someone else's orders, to move someone else's product, to make someone else's meal, to take out someone else's garbage, to mend someone else's fracture, to govern someone else's land, to harvest someone else's food, to feed someone else's kids, to fight someone else's war.

If i don't do this, someone else will right?!?