visuals 15.

Visuals 14

Heck yeah!

EL is a natural and already has movements down.

Training will be intense and focused. LoL

Look out PUBG players, the next generation is getting warmed up! 

Back again for the very first time

Ruby the cat forever in our hearts

2007-2020

Happy New Year, even though its 17 days in.

I spent the better part of last year becoming a more chilled out version of myself, found a great online group of people in IRC-most artists and music types- and started reading a lot, and found a new love of gaming. 

There is a vast and supportive community of people in the gaming world, and i have followed it since late 2017. 

The new rig, my Lenovo Legion C730 BEAST:

This is a stock photo. The best part of it, besides performance, is that it is 'futureproof'as in the motherboard and chipset will handle anything new for at least 5 years. I can keep swapping out graphics cards, add RAM and even another SSD, because, why not? 

I have a Lenovo Legion Y520 laptop, that i purchased in 2017, but save since then for this.

Funny how being middle aged, you appreciate things that take time to procure, and not instant gratification.

Anyway, my gaming handle on steam, twitch and youtube it Visitor73

The twitch has no content yet, as i just got the PC in early January, but i have a few youtube videos, mostly about gaming: 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOzAiTTRPrcqDibjumieZmw

The image i use is of the alien ship, from the movie Starman, from 1984:

Now, that is Meteor Crater Park in AZ.

A place i went to in both 1993 and 2001.

It is exactly what one would think it is: a big hole in the earth. 

Ok, im off now but i want to tell you who i've been reading lately, mostly scifi and fantasy

Richard Thieme

Zak ZyZ

These both i found in my adventures in IRC. 

Richard's site: https://www.thiemeworks.com/

If you get a book to start with, i suggest Mind Games. an EXCELLENT anthology of short stories. He also contacts you personally, and will sign the book. Really cool dude. 

Zak Zyz can be found here:

http://zakzyz.com/

All his stuff is free to download, BUT you can also buy it on Amazon. Which i think is worth it 1000%

He is working on a book called 'GRAVID'right now and here is the intro video: https://youtu.be/ndWUOSwqE_g

He also livestreams the book edit every morning. He made the GRAVID intro himself. Very interesting person, to say the least.

Ok, well I'M BACK.

And by that, the Jer you loved is back and i'm going to post here a LOT more.

Because i love to talk about myself. 

Ok. 

Vintage radio

I picked up this vintage Zenith radio at a tag sale for $2. It's been on constantly and still runs like a champ.

Prince

Well, we lost another great. Prince-the prolific musician and entrepreneur- died unexpectedly at 57.

Here is why i am chiming in on his death:

He was an amazing, kind, caring and open person. 

He was an amazing musician. His recordings spanned decades and earned him a worldwide reputation.

He was a Jehovah's Witness. Which meant a strict lifesytle, that contradicted some of the themes of his music, but molded him into the disciplined machine that he was. 

I was introduced to Prince's music in 1984. The very first album i ever owned, still have, and am playing as i write this i Purple Rain. 

I received this for my birthday. I had to give away the poster, because my dad thought it was too mature for my ren years. I gave it to an older girl on the school bus. I also had a crush on her. 

We listened to Ourple Rain when my dad, brother and two step vrotgers went camping at Lake Otis. 

It was a cathartic experience, because Prince used the word 'masturbating' in one of the songs. 

The other cathartic experience was that my dad made us chili one fine camping night, and my then nine year old bowels did NOT agree with the spicy, protein enriched fusion. 

I cleared a tent full of family, and basically had to change through three pairs of underwear. 

Anyway, Prince was really awesome, stuck to his guns and rocked the hell out. 

Hearing the 'sermon' at the beginning of 'When Doves Cry' sent a shiver down my spine. 

 

 

another.

I just found out that my older step brother Dale has passed away.

He had lifelong problems that kept him from fully enjoying life, but i always tried to treat him with some semblance of respect. 

He was a wanderer, as i am too.

I just feel really bad for my stepmother,as she did everything she could as a parent, to make him happy. 

This Happiness often eluded him as he moved from job to job, place to place. 

I hope he has finally found some peace for himself, as he has given some part of that peace to those he affected.         

Brussels.

I saw a video of a little girl running with her dad, away from the the carnage. 

Stop misrepresenting your religion, you fools.

You aren't terrorizing anyone. 

Scavenger hunt!

a branch. thanks to fred and betsy!

a big leaf. 

a fire hydrant. 

some bark.

a sewer grate. 

a stump. 

a big rock. 

a big rock. 

us. 

it was nice to take in the fresh air, to find things around our neighborhood and to give jackson a nice walk. 

Embarrassed.

Like many of my fellow citizens, you went to the polls on this day, to cast your vote for the nominee of this great land's highest office. 

Not having any political affiliation, Teri and I decided to march in and figure out where we were headed. 

We both chose a third party. 

There were too many bad apples already making too many promises, so we wanted to let them know that we don't want them.

Something was a little...off when we got to the polling station. Our privacy was put to the test, in a VERY uncomfortable way. 

First, being undecided, we had to tell them which ballot OUT LOUD that we were taking as a party. Then,we went to the next person,who we told again, and they handed us our huge, color coded ballot sheet.

They were: Red for republican

                  Blue for democrat

                  White for independent 

                  Green for green/rainbow

Now, i'm sure that this was done, as to not lend to the confusion of the voter, BUT it left the rest of our asses hanging in the wind.

After marking in our ballots, we walked over to sign out. That turned into a debacle as well, because the person crossed off the letter 'U' next to our names, and changed them to another letter!

I'm pretty sure that was completely illegal, as I am still undecided and can change my mind come November.

This doesn't help that we had to:

1) announce a party affiliation, THEN have our undecided status changed.

2) had to announce and show everyone around us which way we voted.

3) were made to feel very uncomfortable by voting the way we did.

But one take away is that our two votes (which led to a whopping 0.6% of the total for Mass.) were sacrificed, so the red and blue clowns could be shown that we want to be counted as one person.  

And, that there are alternatives to their hypocritical status quo, campaign money machines.

Fuck the greed machine and the greed heads. Fuck the empty promises and fuck the electoral system as a whole. 

Because.

Because I drive a compact car-albeit one that is an almost baby blue- does NOT mean that I am an environmentalist 'tree hugger' or am anti oil.

And, I don't care about your big truck (except for the fact that you are obviously compensating for something) and don't need you to gun your engine next to me at a stop light. 

Or, like last week literally run me off the road because I mistakingly cut you off?

I own this car, because it is cheap to maintain and holds it's value. That's where it begins and ends.

I don't want the thing I drive to rule my life, especially my wallet. 

YOUR big ass truck must coast you a lot per month in payments, tires, gas and that lift kit probably wasn't cheap, there king of the road. 

I owned an massive Ford F-150 at one time. It was a burden. 

If I lived in a more northern climate, I'd sure as hell own a 4X4. But here, nope. 

BUT, if you feel threatened by me, then I guess I'm accomplishing something by calling out your being nothing more than a man boy with your toy. With a car. A fucking car. 

So look down on me, I win. Becuase this little thing is threatening your already fragile state of mind. I'll just keep saving money while you look for the next trophy to prove your manliness.

Just because I don't like seeing people being hurt, becuase I hate war and because I think we should've evolved away from war after nuclear weapons were introduced. Just becuase I believe in conservation, everyone's right to be heard and the freedoms to express one's self fully, DOES NOT make me 'another one of them liberals from Massachusetts.'

I am an undeclared voter. I was independent, but filed. I don't like this system, why would I affiliate with any certain faction? 

So, put away your weak need for categorization and give me the freedom to think, drive, vote, act, and breathe to my self. 

Just because I wrote this, doesn't mean it's about or for you. 

Tall.

I wasn't picked to have today off. I lost to a coin toss. It didn't matter. 

My 401k lost $6000 over two weeks, but it is slowly getting back on track. I had nothing to do with this. It's only money. 

I needed tires for my car, so I have to skimp for a month. Whatever. My car will handle better.

I've been eating healthier, but. The weight  is coming off slowly. I feel better for trying, and have more energy.

I don't drink as much alcohol. It feels really good to feel real good. 

Even though being drunk is one of my favorite feel goods, I can still feel good without it. 

It's all Guinness or wine for me. 

I try to write down positive things I see and hear about, quotes and small stories.

There are only a few, but they were other people's exercises in tolerance and patience. 

These things are a culmination of this month's work to level out and calm the hell down. 

The combination of cutting down on drinking and eating better, have paid off in spades. 

If you aren't well mentally, nothing else will be well either. 

That is why I stand tall now, and walk with my chin up. 

Done.

I fell asleep at 10:30 last night. It is now 7:00. I have been up since 6:00.

This is the final day of a really fucked up, sad year. 

The sheer carnage reaped upon these lands has the earth shivering in their wake. 

I had major ups and downs, and once again had to defend myself and my integrity, to save face among my peers.

I weeded out the weak 'friends' i had, and gave up on feeling like i needed to belong with any peer group or moré. 

I stopped using a life zapping pill, that wasn't letting me live. It only let me exist. 

I gave up on feeling bad about things i have absolutely NO control over. 

People who are peaceful, kind and dutiful will ALWAYS outnumber the bad. Don't let ANYONE sway this fact. The universe is huge and limitless, our love for each other should be the same. 

Our logic as a species is flwaed, and we act like savages, repeating the same benign lie of power over and over, only to achieve the same result. 

It's completely foolish,petty and ignorant. 

I am about halfway through my life cycle, and if it all stopped tomorrow, i'd be pretty proud of the few accomplishments that i've set upon this mortal coil. 

I have a lot of good years ahead of me, and want to focus on becoming more of a so called 'peaceful warrior.' 

It looks so hippyish....peacefull warrior!'

Seriously, though. I have a family to grow with and help protect. My old ways are not unlike the ones i described above: flawed. 

Anxiety, stress, depression. These things can be controlled and fixed. Mine dealings with these were starting to wear me down. Numbing myself had become tiresome as well. 

There is no need for me to lie downand give   in yet, as i if seems i fooled myself into thinking it was time to. 

Goidbye 2015 and all of your haunts. 

Goodbye Lemmy, Leonard, B.B. and Wes. You were all true inspirations. 

Imagine.

Imagine if the vast oil reserves on our planet, were put here by an intergalactic race of aliens.

Imagine if these aliens, only used this once barren planet as some kind of fuel depot, and we grew on it like a fungus. 

Imagine how pissed off they'd be, when they travel here to fuel up, only to find the fuel gone. 

Random pt. ?

I would try veganism, as the health benefits are amazing. It would be a good way to practice discipline, and purpose.

The only problem?

I am allergic to soy and almost every kind of nut. This means that a massive part of the diet would be off limits to me. 

I would like to make music again, and have the equipment to make it happen. I just have trouble making music, with the idea that i am making some sort of product, or trying to 'sell' it so people will hear it. 

It is absurd to create and think you are being original, when you have the selling point in mind. You just ruined the purity of your project by placing a price on it. 

I also refuse to play anything i do live. It is complete bullshit to hold court in front of people and wait for their judgements or accolades!

Why would i practice, spend all of this time preparing, make sure everything is up to my standards, and then...and then put myself in front of people who would rather update their social network postings or talk over my expressions while i am concentrating. 

I would like to leave my job, i would like to be free, enjoy my middle age, and learn. I make really good money and have a boatload of time off. 

The problem?

I have been doing this job for sixteen years and have not moved anywhere in the company. I want more. More responsibility, more space to think and less dealing with the simple warehouse mentality. It's a grind that has finally burned me out. 

At 42, some avenues have been passed, but others are still in front of me.

The question remains: do i have the guts to throw myself into the big '?' And possibly mess up my life, or do i stay the course? 

Done.

Due to the fact, that the information is already out there, before it shows up on you. You only co opt most content second hand, and try to make it your own. 

Due to the fact, that you get fake 'karma' points for finding that information first, and then everyone gives their much needed nod of approval and/or disapproval. 

Due to the fact that there are barely ANY actual DISCUSSIONS and only either 100% agreement or vice cersa.

Due to the fact that instead of bringing the best out in us, you have only allowed bullies, trolls and immature anonymous sycophants to rule the roost.

Due to the fact that the average user needs information bestowed upon them on a silver platter, for them to peck over or raise a nose to, like a spoiled prince. 

Reddit, you and i are no longer friends.

You were smaller and more fun over four years ago, when i met you.

I'm sorry, but you've become way to big for your britches. 

Best of luck, handing out gold stars when good things happen, and the same when you beed to hand out pacifiers to all the self centered brats, who make up a vast percentage of your user base. 

Our friend, and official 10 Clark #2 greeter, Smiegel, died on October21st.

She had become more and more reclusive over the past three months. She had a feeding on the 19thif crickets. I guess that was her last meal. 

Welp, she was a lizard. She is buried at the base of a tree in our yard, to feed it.

 I think she was 13 years old. Which is old. For a gecko.

I posted this in 2011:

http://prewarcondition.blogspot.com/2011/08/smiegel-gecko-and-so-much-more.html

I won't forget taking her out and petting her chin, until her eyes closed in joy. Or saying 'hi' to her whenever i came home.

Having turned off her red heat lamp,and not coming home to it's warming glow, made me feel her absence all the more.  

About her service: i read a nice poem, we wrapped Smiegel in a red napkin and drew a heart on it. Elsie put a flower in with her and threw some dirt, said goodbye. The poem took us all back a bit. We were all teary eyed and had closure. 

Smeigel:200?-2015

42

No, i do now know the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything.

Gifts obtained on my birthday:

iPhone 6S.  I faithfully kept our iPhone fours running for three years.  It was time.

New web belt.  my other one was over 10 years old and fraying.

.357 Magnum hot sauce.  It is pure evil.

A giant hand carved wooden spoon.  For cooking.

The Sprawl trilogy by William Gibson.  I read through these in 1993.  Can't wait to jack back in.

Time to hang out with Terri and Elsie, cook good food and drink good drinks.

Yay 42.

Random.

Random stream of consciousness (please ignore.)

Guilty pleasure out if context with my personality #1: I love the television show 'Diners Drive Ins & Dives.' 

Why do i need to buy hard cider, when i can just add apple cider to my beer?

Health care sucks now. I would literally pay more, if they went back to my HCP taking care of everything. 

If you aren't using Firefox as your browser: you are missing out. 

I tried wordpress, because i wanted to cut ties with the googles, but it's like 'Jeremy: The Blog!' Here, i can remain anonymous-ish, as though i have a corner office in the basement. 

I am still a wide eyed child. I get excited like a child over things. If you outgrew this, you lose. 

Dear tweny somethings: (            )

'Blunt Talk' is Patrick Stewart's best work in years. 

My newest way of dealing with someone who is complaining or whining is silence, followed by an idea or positive inflection. 

It works like a charm, especially when the offender looks like a peeing dog. 

I am starting to make music again, on my own terms. The project is called: Futurestorms. 

Guilty pleasure out of context with my personality #2: I love weddings. 

Skinny Puppy- a band that has veen on my radar since '88, is a frequent pre and post work soundscape, that i love. 

Elsie an I went on another hike today. I love to hit the trail with her, and have engaged in what i hope is a lifeling passion for herself and i. She loves the woods, and has gotten me iff my tuckus. 

If you have time, sit in a bathroom with the lights off. It is so quiet and calming. 

It's my daily five minute re charge. 

I used to hate the transition into fall/ winter. I now see it as a change for the better. Time to make music, catch up in my video game pile and bundle up. 

Guilty pleasure the is out of context with my personality #3: i love birthday parties. 

I have the solution to some of life's little problems: shut up and deal with it. 

Obligatory Elsie picture:

Visuals 13.