Random pt. ?

I would try veganism, as the health benefits are amazing. It would be a good way to practice discipline, and purpose.

The only problem?

I am allergic to soy and almost every kind of nut. This means that a massive part of the diet would be off limits to me. 

I would like to make music again, and have the equipment to make it happen. I just have trouble making music, with the idea that i am making some sort of product, or trying to 'sell' it so people will hear it. 

It is absurd to create and think you are being original, when you have the selling point in mind. You just ruined the purity of your project by placing a price on it. 

I also refuse to play anything i do live. It is complete bullshit to hold court in front of people and wait for their judgements or accolades!

Why would i practice, spend all of this time preparing, make sure everything is up to my standards, and then...and then put myself in front of people who would rather update their social network postings or talk over my expressions while i am concentrating. 

I would like to leave my job, i would like to be free, enjoy my middle age, and learn. I make really good money and have a boatload of time off. 

The problem?

I have been doing this job for sixteen years and have not moved anywhere in the company. I want more. More responsibility, more space to think and less dealing with the simple warehouse mentality. It's a grind that has finally burned me out. 

At 42, some avenues have been passed, but others are still in front of me.

The question remains: do i have the guts to throw myself into the big '?' And possibly mess up my life, or do i stay the course?