going to the dogs?!

Here we have a picture of last New Year's Eve. A night of Merriment, the wii's and something called maple whiskey.

2/10's of the crew ended up getting ill , but that's another story.

Now, you may think the title is rude and are focusing on all of my lovely lady friends. It may seem as though the canines in the picture on the left are being forced into posing. These things aren't true.

I posted this picture because it's the only one on file of our beloved dog, jackson, and Molly and Seth's dog jasper.

Jasper has been our house guest since last Friday as M& S headed to the 'On golden pond' pond in Maine(?)

Jasper is the one on the right. Clockwise we have: jackson, Remi, Jessica,Terri(center) and Molly.

We were at Molly's house when this was taken. We were also up in the Whately's.

O.k.: Jasper.

He's a smaller breed. I think he's part border collie. He's very, very passive. He comes on a bit confused at times but you can see the gears turning in his eyes. If he is part collie, then he's a thinker. Border collies are smart. That's a fact.

The first night he was here, i fell a sleep on the couch after going into a caffeine coma and much to my surprise jasper was asleep on my chest with his head on my shoulder.

I was touched by how he found me to be his protector as he was a bit ill at ease with his new surroundings.

The trouble is: i can't shake the guy. He is at my feet all the time and follows me like a puppy dog. Maybe because he IS a puppy dog?

Feeding time for him is a blast, when i pour his food into a bowl and tell him repeatedly that he has to keep eating. He digs in after a while but needs a prod or two of advice.

He follows me into our kitchen and i have to tell him there is nothing for him and he kind of sulks.

These aren't a negative reflection of jasper by any means. He is a sweet, sweet dog and some of his mellow attitude is rubbing off out our boy jackson.

So, we've gone to the dogs at the 10 Clark.

And that's all right by me.

In other news: I finally received my used copy of DAS BOOT on Blue Ray.

Are you freaking kidding me?

The director's cut clocking in at over three hours in 1080p?

I know what i'm doing Sunday night: sinking into the depths of madness.

'My truck uses the gas your hybrid saves.'

This is the funniest thing:
I went to my mechanic in Hatfield (about four miles from downtown 'hamp) for a routine oil change at 0:900 last Thursday. I had also mentioned a grinding noise in my brakes and had them check out the front driver's side. As i flipped through copies of Consumer Reports and listened to classical music in their waiting room, the diagnosis wasn't good. I needed a new wheel bearing instead of a cleaning of my brakes, which I thought was the root of the noise.

The cost of that, a tire rotation and an oil change was a little over $300.

I have been working really hard and saving as much as I can for when the baby comes. I have been sacrificing and going without so that she may be a little more comfortable. And now I have to pay out and put even more money into my late model Subaru.

So, they have to keep it overnight as I would be late for work if i waited. No biggie. They use Enterprise car rentals and pay half the charge for each day. If you remember, i only had to pay a total of $30 for that yellow hippie mobile I rented for two days back in January or February.

So what did I get from the car rental gods this time?

A fucking massive Dodge 1500 pick up truck.

The thing was a behemoth to drive, sucked gas down like a pig and was generally a menace to everything around it.

The pros and cons were the same for the behemoth: it was HUGE.

Some notes:

The damn thing was very easy to drive, due to it's independent front suspension.

I was towering over everything around me.

I felt like an all american douche bag who is inadvertently aiding terrorism by wasting so much fuel to look 'badass.'

The acceleration was great, it went from standstill to 'i'm going to tear the tar off the road' with ease.

The brakes were a bit spongy and i found my self misjudging the distance to which i was supposed to start braking and ended up on people's ass more than once.

In honor of all american excess, i ate a cheeseburger and fries in the behemoth, but i didn't throw the bag out of the window when i was done, so i didn't take the facade all the way.

I was high enough up to where my ears felt like popping and the air was getting thinner. On 91 South in Deerfield, I could somehow make out the buildings in Springfield.

In the one day I rented it, i drove where i normally drove, and had to put $12 in the gas tank.

I don't see the practicality of a truck being so high off of the ground and yet still having the ability to haul cargo.

The dashboard computer was busy and distracting.

My overall grade for this king o' the road: D+

I have nothing against trucks as i've owned two of them. This thing is everything that is wrong with the automotive industry in america: it's big, loud and always thirsty. This goes beyond being a truck and enters a branded lifestyle of fake machismo excess and an 'i don't give a fuck, get out of my way' fake preening attitude that frankly shouldn't fly in the year 2011.

It was just way too much for me and i'm happy i didn't take someone or something out while i was experiencing being' Ram Tough.'

This truck was just a toy, an accesory. Terri's dad has a massive truck with dual tires in back. Why? because he has horses and a farm. it doesn't have chrome bumpers or six cup holders.

Anyway, i have my 2001 Subaru Legacy back and feel a lot better at getting 28 miles to the gallon instead of 17.

I don't like big trucks. If you didn't already understands where i was coming from.

Other notes:

This is the first blog i wrote on the new laptop Terri bought for a really great price. It's a re-certified Toshiba L675 Satellite and it's 4gigs of sweet love.

The site we went to is: newegg.com

And we're taking care of our friend's dog Jasper for the week while they are on holiday.

By the way, my mechanic, Mark, is the best i've ever gone to. He is great all the way around and really fair in his work and prices: http://www.advancedtechauto.net/

Just thought i'd let you know.

'You are not what you own.'-Fugazi

Title quote from a bumper sticker on a giant truck we parked behind at the Hadley Flea Market.

Photo from the googles.

Obligatory 'I've not written in a while' post.

Major, major updates from the 10 Clark.

We have been feverishly working to get the home together for our new arrival. Terri is looking more and more pregnant every day and I have been taking on more and more responsibility as the result.

We have been feverishly preparing the baby's room that used to be the computer/music room. i am typing this blog on a temporary table, which is the dog's crate.

I'm glad to get some momentum and ultimately some routine going, because i'm going to need to be 'on point' from when the baby comes until at least 2028.

Looking at that date is like looking back in time to 1992. It looks out of place and way far away.

So, that's the good news.

Here's the bad news:

We were getting ready for our seven hour marathon birthing class early on Saturday morning when I noticed that I had a message. I dried my hair off and received a call from my dad that was very urgent and serious.

I called him back and found out that a day earlier my aunt Joan had been killed in a car accident in Florida. She died instantly.

Now, this news was really hard to take, as we Fowlers last forever. Something like this doesn't happen to us.
I guess that's why they call it an accident.
Aunt Joan was really nice and had a great laugh and a sunny disposition.

She seemed to move around a lot, which only added to her mystery.

She was the second born of six kids and my Grandma Rose's first daughter.

She was getting ready to retire and enjoy her days in Florida.

I managed to pull through the birthing class with very little emotion and held back pretty well.

Memories started flooding in of Christmases at my uncles house, Aunt Joan laughing about something, seeing my entire family together for my grandma's seventieth birthday.

I called my dad back when I came home, got off the phone and started crying. I felt so bad for my father and felt so bad for my grandmother that it overwhelmed my emotions.

I will always remember her laugh and am thankful that she didn't have to suffer.

Fear and loathing at the baby registry.

Hey, what the hell is that thing? It's an analog to USB converter, duh.

I have had an analog four track since a co worker sold it to me when he declared bankruptcy back in 2000.

I have hours and hours of music rotting on 1/4 inch tapes. I would like to join the digital age...on my terms.

I was actually looking for an cheap, easy to use digital four track. I loathe to do this because creating music digitally seems like trying to get any emotion from a Vulcan.

But, everyone is doing it.

I was able to get a sweet 'bonus digital music production, editing and podcasting software suite' for the grand total of $40 for the unit and software.

Not bad for the kid, eh?

I was happier at the fact that what paid for this marvel of technology was the disability check I received for my dish washing wound, for $55.

I am also very happy to report that I can convert my' rare' LP's to digital for my ipod usage.

Last Friday was a good day.

Ok.

Now you are wondering what the heck this has to do with a baby registry. If you don't know what it is, it's not a place where you register your baby, like the DMV. It is where you register for things FOR your baby for a baby shower.

It's going to be an exciting day for Terri, our moms and Elsie.

My god, I need to get into the baby marketing racket, because there was so much...STUFF!

Here are some highlights from our three hour adventure:

I didn't know a baby could claw it's eyes out from it's wee nails, but now we might be getting mittens and safety clippers.

I was given the awesome responsibility of holding the scanner and scan/delete things.

Some strollers need an advanced mechanical engineering degree to fold up and unfold.

Electric breast pumps scare me.

Unbeknownst to me, Terri's nesting instinct had planned for literally NOTHING that I thought was cool, but I scanned a few things when she went to the bathroom.

We are painting the baby's room lavender. I was informed many times that lavender is NOT purple.

I have to move my giant Hunter S. Thompson placard out of the baby's room.

You cannot survive on an Odwalla bar and a blackberry IZZE soda for too long when confronted by the sheer logistical magnitude of registering for a baby.

I swear some of the play sets for babies, were designed by Nazis.

Or at least priced by them.

Every baby in ads is perfect, and has a perfect life.

I HAVE VERY GENEROUS AND GIVING FRIENDS (HINT HINT) HA!

Listen; I just want my daughter to be happy. I understand the need for these things and I completely understand and think it's cool that you can register and hope for the best but it kind of took the magic of having little Elsie away a bit. I might be a bit old fashioned, but to me less is more. I don't want to load her down with a lot of stuff she is going to grow out of in a blink of an eyes. I'd rather be sitting with her reading or listening to music. I'm sure she'd like groups like: Behemoth, Deicide, Satyricon, Morbid Angel, powerblessings and Cannibal Corpse!

But you know I am just kidding.

I actually found a cool collection of folk children's songs that was made by the Smithsonian. It only cost me $1.50 and it's really good. Or the other Cd I bought was of some Brazilian lounge music. Again, $1.50. Perfect for a baby.

Anyway, my whole world of music has opened up wide and it just gives me one more thing to look forward to besides having a baby.

As I sit here sipping on some sweet tea, watching the words come slowly but surely, I feel that I am in the right place and this is the right time.

O.k.

photo: product photo from online sale site.

Updates from the offices @ 10 Clark.

Hello, to the left we have a nice picture of our front door in December. You can see an stuffed elephant and a stuffed rabbit sitting on the door mat. They are Bunny and Scrunchy, respectively. They are the stuffed animals that Terri and i carried around in our youth. Terri owns Bunny and I have had Scrunchy since i think i was four or five.

This picture was part of a photo book i crafted for Terri for Christmas. It shows Bunny and Scrunchy doing the things that Terri and i participated in when we bought the house. It was a tribute to the both of us.

Having kept my stuffed animal over the years may seem like a weird thing to do, especially since i am thirty-seven and am writing about it. I keep Scrunchy to remind my self of being young and of the power of imagination in reference to the adventures Scrunchy and i shared in when we were both a lot younger.

I find that it is important to hold on to these ideals-not to necessarily act upon them-to keep me young inside. I asked my dad once what it felt like to be an adult. His reply is one that i carry with me still and would like to share: 'Adult? I've felt like i was eighteen since i passed that age.' I know he meant that he has had the same curiosity and motivation since that age and believe me it has helped me get through some tough times with my head held high.

O.K. Now on to business:

Twelve stitches: I was washing a glass one fine Sunday evening three weeks ago. The glass cracked and my puma like reflexes couldn't save me from getting a nice gash on my upper right hand index finger. It was Eleven O'clock at night. We were in the emergency room until Three in the morning. I received twelve total stitches and couldn't use my right hand for at least ten days.

I was off from work. Watching movies and becoming a lefty. It totally sucked and i'm out a bit of pay from work. What did i learn? That you never know what may happen, so you should be careful.

Elsie Maureen: Two Fridays ago Terri said that Elsie kicked an moved a bit. It was later confirmed that night by my hand that indeed she is moving around in the womb. I will be talking to Terri's belly soon enough. We have an MRI scheduled, so there will be some pictures up on the Flickrs for you to peruse.

Work: After a full week off, the candle is full steam ahead and I will be working multiple Saturdays as well as late into the night so you can have a candle. I'm not complaining because the money is good and so are the people I work with.

If i can get past the monotony and the simpletons that may come my way at a warehouse, it boils down to a challenging and rewarding time.

Social life?: Other than having a few people over for Memorial Day, it's been pretty quiet. Last Saturday I worked until six p.m. and hoofed it over to The Flywheel to see some bands. I was reminded of the power of music and laughter yet again. The Flywheel is a great venue. The room itself is really nice. All the bands i was able to see were really cool too. My friend Jon cited that when we were getting into punk back in 1988, a lot of the kids at the show weren't even born yet. They carried the torch pretty well though. I just stood back and took it all in.

I would like very much to go to lunch with people again. it happened early this year and we had a great time. I'm usually (until September, of course) free between eleven a.m. and one p.m.

I'm almost done. The dryer is drying my undies and i'm steeping some nice tea for iced tea.

Maybe getting up earlier than usual was a good thing.

I really missed writing.

www.flywheelarts.org/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/23632423@N02/sets/

'You're going to be such a great dad.'

HUH!? WHAT?! Did you just say that to me? On the other end of the line? Are you a time traveler? If you are, did I manage to grow my hair back when you went to the future to see me being a dad?

Alright everyone i'm not kidding when I state this but I have no idea on how to be a dad. Shocking, right?

I think the main reason-and stop me here if you don't follow-is that I'VE NEVER BEEN A PARENT!

'You're being too hard on your self.'

'When you see your daughter for the first time it will just click.'

'You're going to be such a great dad.'

'You have the easy part.'

I am loathe to condemn anyone for stating these things I just wrote because of the fact that you are just being nice and it's your way of giving me 'big ups.'

Forgive me if I remain scared shit less.

But I am well on my way to finding out how to be a good parent, father etc.

This past Sunday at my step nieces birthday party, eight month old Darnell was placed on the floor in front of me after he had been fed and changed. After watching him babble at the floor and rattle his comically over sized plastic key chain toy, I decided to punt him across the...wait, I picked him up and placed him in my lap, assured that he would not poop all over me.

The coolest thing happened; I was gently rocking back and forth in the easy chair, and he slowly went backwards onto my chest, out like a light.

Parenting is easy!

I could get used to this. Darnell was out for almost an hour! I like to lie around and nap all day. And if our baby needs that contact and observation while she sleeps, I'm the one for the job!

Oh wait, there are the seven billion things that I need to learn about.

But I have a list of things to remember:

1) I've seen other people that have spawned before and my mental facilities are in much better order than they.

2) I'm not alone in this. My parents had a baby or two once. Or so they tell me.

3) I have been learning to try to stay calm in any situation. I'm going to need this as my happy place.

4) I have to be more careful in my decisions and actions as they not only affect Terri, as she is a capable human as am I, and a baby is defenseless against the world.

5) I'm sure there will be days when i'm at my wits end; but I've already been at my wits end and I know how to stay away from there.

6) I have refused to grow up and still hold a lot of the spirit of being young, so I'll be able to stay one step ahead of our girl at all times. (Yeah, right.)

O.K. the last one was a stretch at most because you never know what's going to happen being a parent but you can be assured that something WILL happen.

And the other 6,999,999,994 things will come naturally, right?

The other is the 'Team Awesome' moment.

Scenario #1: It's a nice summer evening around 6 p.m. I strap on that baby carrying-over-the-chest thing and harness the dog. I decide to go to Mt. Tom's down the street for some much needed sugar and head out. My friends are heading out of town in their van to gig and being the confirmed-bachelor-rock-stars-living-at-home they are, decide to point and laugh as they drive by on another adventure i'm going to miss out on.

My reaction? Rock on guys! I'm going to get ice cream with my daughter and my dog. 'Team Awesome' rolls on.

Now, I should feel left out. I should feel like my life is over and I have nothing to show for my self. What my friends in the van don't know about, is the great day I had showing Elsie a bunch of really cool art deco. And how we listened and danced in the kitchen to The Clash. And how more and more she's looking at me when I talk to her and brush her face with my hand.

Scenario#2 Miss Know It All:

Wow super educated lady we're encountering. You've had two kids and aren't using you degree from Smith that your parents paid $200,000 dollars for because you married a doctor. Now you are now trying to tell me what I should feed my kid, and how i'm holding her wrong, and that I should be less of a dad and more of a parent. HUH? If you want to approach the subject of parenting, please start you critique with: 'What I like to do...' or 'Can I make a suggestion..' not 'You need to do this...' or 'You don't know what you are doing...' because I don't want to get upset around the baby at least until i'm told that i'm 'the most unreasonable dad on the planet' because I won't let my now 14 year old daughter go to the 30th anniversary of The Warped Tour.

I'm really positive that your nanny gets frustrated too when you dole advice to her as you're heading out the door to pilates class.

O.k. so I went on a bit of a stretch on that last one. But you get my point.

In 'i'm getting old' news:
There's been massive rain down south. In Louisiana they were talking about opening a spillway to ease the swelling of a river. The last time they did it was 'almost forty years ago.' I was in bed watching the CNN's, engrossed in how that happened so long ago.

Then they showed the township that was part of the long ago flooding. Look, there's a piece of wall with a line on it where the water level went! Wow, that high! Oh and OH...the date above the line was 1973. The year I was born.

My heart sank just a little as I'd not been confronted so abruptly with my age before.

It used to be to me that the 40's and 50's were a long time ago. I now run in to people who are twenty and don't know about the L.A. riots or Reagan getting shot or Pac Man fever(they do wear a Pac Man t-shirt though) or The Challenger blowing up. Or the rise and fall of The Clash or Jonestown.

But I digress. We were much more free back then and our parents were freer. There weren't as many trappings socially and fewer distractions. A kid could be a kid back then and not a product. I just hope that my Elsie doesn't become one of these little brats that seem to be everywhere these days, clacking away at some stupid phone and wearing way too revealing clothes for her age, butchering the English language and demanding we shop at the mall for clothes.

Spoken like an old man!

Photo: unknown.

An assault on the senses?

The allergy gods have spited me once again.

Every morning over the past two weeks, i spend an hour in an itchy-eyed, stuffy whirlwind.

There seems to be no escape in sight!

But the cavalry does come in tow forms:

1) Each day the rotten crap outside dries up and the trees stop trying to mate, is one day less of this hell.

2) Loratadine.

As depicted in the image to the left, I went all the way to Russia to score some. Which isn't true at all.

I will have to give this wonder drug an a++ in the effective test. It really works and doesn't make me feel homicidal like Benadryl did.

It's been a half hour since I took 10mg of Loratadine and i'm already not itchy and my nose isn't as plugged up.

One thing that sucks is when a person loses or has half their sense of smell, they also have half their sense of taste. I love to cook and especially love eating, so it's been a bit of a drag.

In other news:

IT'S MOTHER'S DAY. Call your mom, she misses you.

Yesterday I went to a plant sale at the Vocational High School and was part of a bizarre right of passage called 'the picking of the plants.' I know very little of plants. My favorite kind of plant is the jade. It looks like it was made on the set of the original Star Trek. There were lots of people at said plant sale and they are not like me. It's some kind of down home countrified scene. There was even a quilt raffle!

In all fairness I scored two 'New Guinea Impatiens' as my patients was running out.

I would honestly like to get into making a garden, and I even managed to get two habanero peppers out of the six plants I planted at my last apartment.

Welp, now I am being forced by the mother to be verbally to get my ass in gear.

And I just was told that i'm re-potting the impatiens.

HARUMPH!