Brussels.

I saw a video of a little girl running with her dad, away from the the carnage. 

Stop misrepresenting your religion, you fools.

You aren't terrorizing anyone. 

Scavenger hunt!

a branch. thanks to fred and betsy!

a big leaf. 

a fire hydrant. 

some bark.

a sewer grate. 

a stump. 

a big rock. 

a big rock. 

us. 

it was nice to take in the fresh air, to find things around our neighborhood and to give jackson a nice walk. 

Embarrassed.

Like many of my fellow citizens, you went to the polls on this day, to cast your vote for the nominee of this great land's highest office. 

Not having any political affiliation, Teri and I decided to march in and figure out where we were headed. 

We both chose a third party. 

There were too many bad apples already making too many promises, so we wanted to let them know that we don't want them.

Something was a little...off when we got to the polling station. Our privacy was put to the test, in a VERY uncomfortable way. 

First, being undecided, we had to tell them which ballot OUT LOUD that we were taking as a party. Then,we went to the next person,who we told again, and they handed us our huge, color coded ballot sheet.

They were: Red for republican

                  Blue for democrat

                  White for independent 

                  Green for green/rainbow

Now, i'm sure that this was done, as to not lend to the confusion of the voter, BUT it left the rest of our asses hanging in the wind.

After marking in our ballots, we walked over to sign out. That turned into a debacle as well, because the person crossed off the letter 'U' next to our names, and changed them to another letter!

I'm pretty sure that was completely illegal, as I am still undecided and can change my mind come November.

This doesn't help that we had to:

1) announce a party affiliation, THEN have our undecided status changed.

2) had to announce and show everyone around us which way we voted.

3) were made to feel very uncomfortable by voting the way we did.

But one take away is that our two votes (which led to a whopping 0.6% of the total for Mass.) were sacrificed, so the red and blue clowns could be shown that we want to be counted as one person.  

And, that there are alternatives to their hypocritical status quo, campaign money machines.

Fuck the greed machine and the greed heads. Fuck the empty promises and fuck the electoral system as a whole. 

Because.

Because I drive a compact car-albeit one that is an almost baby blue- does NOT mean that I am an environmentalist 'tree hugger' or am anti oil.

And, I don't care about your big truck (except for the fact that you are obviously compensating for something) and don't need you to gun your engine next to me at a stop light. 

Or, like last week literally run me off the road because I mistakingly cut you off?

I own this car, because it is cheap to maintain and holds it's value. That's where it begins and ends.

I don't want the thing I drive to rule my life, especially my wallet. 

YOUR big ass truck must coast you a lot per month in payments, tires, gas and that lift kit probably wasn't cheap, there king of the road. 

I owned an massive Ford F-150 at one time. It was a burden. 

If I lived in a more northern climate, I'd sure as hell own a 4X4. But here, nope. 

BUT, if you feel threatened by me, then I guess I'm accomplishing something by calling out your being nothing more than a man boy with your toy. With a car. A fucking car. 

So look down on me, I win. Becuase this little thing is threatening your already fragile state of mind. I'll just keep saving money while you look for the next trophy to prove your manliness.

Just because I don't like seeing people being hurt, becuase I hate war and because I think we should've evolved away from war after nuclear weapons were introduced. Just becuase I believe in conservation, everyone's right to be heard and the freedoms to express one's self fully, DOES NOT make me 'another one of them liberals from Massachusetts.'

I am an undeclared voter. I was independent, but filed. I don't like this system, why would I affiliate with any certain faction? 

So, put away your weak need for categorization and give me the freedom to think, drive, vote, act, and breathe to my self. 

Just because I wrote this, doesn't mean it's about or for you. 

Tall.

I wasn't picked to have today off. I lost to a coin toss. It didn't matter. 

My 401k lost $6000 over two weeks, but it is slowly getting back on track. I had nothing to do with this. It's only money. 

I needed tires for my car, so I have to skimp for a month. Whatever. My car will handle better.

I've been eating healthier, but. The weight  is coming off slowly. I feel better for trying, and have more energy.

I don't drink as much alcohol. It feels really good to feel real good. 

Even though being drunk is one of my favorite feel goods, I can still feel good without it. 

It's all Guinness or wine for me. 

I try to write down positive things I see and hear about, quotes and small stories.

There are only a few, but they were other people's exercises in tolerance and patience. 

These things are a culmination of this month's work to level out and calm the hell down. 

The combination of cutting down on drinking and eating better, have paid off in spades. 

If you aren't well mentally, nothing else will be well either. 

That is why I stand tall now, and walk with my chin up. 

Done.

I fell asleep at 10:30 last night. It is now 7:00. I have been up since 6:00.

This is the final day of a really fucked up, sad year. 

The sheer carnage reaped upon these lands has the earth shivering in their wake. 

I had major ups and downs, and once again had to defend myself and my integrity, to save face among my peers.

I weeded out the weak 'friends' i had, and gave up on feeling like i needed to belong with any peer group or moré. 

I stopped using a life zapping pill, that wasn't letting me live. It only let me exist. 

I gave up on feeling bad about things i have absolutely NO control over. 

People who are peaceful, kind and dutiful will ALWAYS outnumber the bad. Don't let ANYONE sway this fact. The universe is huge and limitless, our love for each other should be the same. 

Our logic as a species is flwaed, and we act like savages, repeating the same benign lie of power over and over, only to achieve the same result. 

It's completely foolish,petty and ignorant. 

I am about halfway through my life cycle, and if it all stopped tomorrow, i'd be pretty proud of the few accomplishments that i've set upon this mortal coil. 

I have a lot of good years ahead of me, and want to focus on becoming more of a so called 'peaceful warrior.' 

It looks so hippyish....peacefull warrior!'

Seriously, though. I have a family to grow with and help protect. My old ways are not unlike the ones i described above: flawed. 

Anxiety, stress, depression. These things can be controlled and fixed. Mine dealings with these were starting to wear me down. Numbing myself had become tiresome as well. 

There is no need for me to lie downand give   in yet, as i if seems i fooled myself into thinking it was time to. 

Goidbye 2015 and all of your haunts. 

Goodbye Lemmy, Leonard, B.B. and Wes. You were all true inspirations. 

Imagine.

Imagine if the vast oil reserves on our planet, were put here by an intergalactic race of aliens.

Imagine if these aliens, only used this once barren planet as some kind of fuel depot, and we grew on it like a fungus. 

Imagine how pissed off they'd be, when they travel here to fuel up, only to find the fuel gone.