the beginning seems like an eon ago. i acted like a baby that lost it's bottle. the reality is that it didn't feel good anymore. i was drinking because it was what i was used to. problems started compounding and a lot of ghosts from my past were plaguing me and i was sick of burning the (ahem) candle at both ends. i became sober with the help of a professional therapist, the AA big book (i still haven't stepped foot into a meeting) my family and two co workers whom are sober as well. I am in no way cured nor am i at risk of a relapse. how? I think my way through the drinking experience. i think about getting way too drunk way too quickly. i think about waking up still drunk. i think about having to piece together my morning when all i want to do is pass out, and it doesn't at all add up. it is not worth it and it is not worth flirting with the idea of trying to regulate or ration my alcohol usage.
Now comes the part that is more difficult: what do i do with all of this? That is what the next ninety days will be about for me. I instituted a change in my self and have become aware of who i am and what that means. Now i have to work on a plan to begin the rest of my and my families life, and to grow into my new role.
In conclusion of this rant, i cannot express enough gratitude to my family for helping me to see that i am a good person who wants to do good things, and that having a little faith in things instead of always seeing the bad side, really helps a tremendous amount.
'The sleeper has awakened.'
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