Fear and loathing at the baby registry.

Hey, what the hell is that thing? It's an analog to USB converter, duh.

I have had an analog four track since a co worker sold it to me when he declared bankruptcy back in 2000.

I have hours and hours of music rotting on 1/4 inch tapes. I would like to join the digital age...on my terms.

I was actually looking for an cheap, easy to use digital four track. I loathe to do this because creating music digitally seems like trying to get any emotion from a Vulcan.

But, everyone is doing it.

I was able to get a sweet 'bonus digital music production, editing and podcasting software suite' for the grand total of $40 for the unit and software.

Not bad for the kid, eh?

I was happier at the fact that what paid for this marvel of technology was the disability check I received for my dish washing wound, for $55.

I am also very happy to report that I can convert my' rare' LP's to digital for my ipod usage.

Last Friday was a good day.

Ok.

Now you are wondering what the heck this has to do with a baby registry. If you don't know what it is, it's not a place where you register your baby, like the DMV. It is where you register for things FOR your baby for a baby shower.

It's going to be an exciting day for Terri, our moms and Elsie.

My god, I need to get into the baby marketing racket, because there was so much...STUFF!

Here are some highlights from our three hour adventure:

I didn't know a baby could claw it's eyes out from it's wee nails, but now we might be getting mittens and safety clippers.

I was given the awesome responsibility of holding the scanner and scan/delete things.

Some strollers need an advanced mechanical engineering degree to fold up and unfold.

Electric breast pumps scare me.

Unbeknownst to me, Terri's nesting instinct had planned for literally NOTHING that I thought was cool, but I scanned a few things when she went to the bathroom.

We are painting the baby's room lavender. I was informed many times that lavender is NOT purple.

I have to move my giant Hunter S. Thompson placard out of the baby's room.

You cannot survive on an Odwalla bar and a blackberry IZZE soda for too long when confronted by the sheer logistical magnitude of registering for a baby.

I swear some of the play sets for babies, were designed by Nazis.

Or at least priced by them.

Every baby in ads is perfect, and has a perfect life.

I HAVE VERY GENEROUS AND GIVING FRIENDS (HINT HINT) HA!

Listen; I just want my daughter to be happy. I understand the need for these things and I completely understand and think it's cool that you can register and hope for the best but it kind of took the magic of having little Elsie away a bit. I might be a bit old fashioned, but to me less is more. I don't want to load her down with a lot of stuff she is going to grow out of in a blink of an eyes. I'd rather be sitting with her reading or listening to music. I'm sure she'd like groups like: Behemoth, Deicide, Satyricon, Morbid Angel, powerblessings and Cannibal Corpse!

But you know I am just kidding.

I actually found a cool collection of folk children's songs that was made by the Smithsonian. It only cost me $1.50 and it's really good. Or the other Cd I bought was of some Brazilian lounge music. Again, $1.50. Perfect for a baby.

Anyway, my whole world of music has opened up wide and it just gives me one more thing to look forward to besides having a baby.

As I sit here sipping on some sweet tea, watching the words come slowly but surely, I feel that I am in the right place and this is the right time.

O.k.

photo: product photo from online sale site.

Updates from the offices @ 10 Clark.

Hello, to the left we have a nice picture of our front door in December. You can see an stuffed elephant and a stuffed rabbit sitting on the door mat. They are Bunny and Scrunchy, respectively. They are the stuffed animals that Terri and i carried around in our youth. Terri owns Bunny and I have had Scrunchy since i think i was four or five.

This picture was part of a photo book i crafted for Terri for Christmas. It shows Bunny and Scrunchy doing the things that Terri and i participated in when we bought the house. It was a tribute to the both of us.

Having kept my stuffed animal over the years may seem like a weird thing to do, especially since i am thirty-seven and am writing about it. I keep Scrunchy to remind my self of being young and of the power of imagination in reference to the adventures Scrunchy and i shared in when we were both a lot younger.

I find that it is important to hold on to these ideals-not to necessarily act upon them-to keep me young inside. I asked my dad once what it felt like to be an adult. His reply is one that i carry with me still and would like to share: 'Adult? I've felt like i was eighteen since i passed that age.' I know he meant that he has had the same curiosity and motivation since that age and believe me it has helped me get through some tough times with my head held high.

O.K. Now on to business:

Twelve stitches: I was washing a glass one fine Sunday evening three weeks ago. The glass cracked and my puma like reflexes couldn't save me from getting a nice gash on my upper right hand index finger. It was Eleven O'clock at night. We were in the emergency room until Three in the morning. I received twelve total stitches and couldn't use my right hand for at least ten days.

I was off from work. Watching movies and becoming a lefty. It totally sucked and i'm out a bit of pay from work. What did i learn? That you never know what may happen, so you should be careful.

Elsie Maureen: Two Fridays ago Terri said that Elsie kicked an moved a bit. It was later confirmed that night by my hand that indeed she is moving around in the womb. I will be talking to Terri's belly soon enough. We have an MRI scheduled, so there will be some pictures up on the Flickrs for you to peruse.

Work: After a full week off, the candle is full steam ahead and I will be working multiple Saturdays as well as late into the night so you can have a candle. I'm not complaining because the money is good and so are the people I work with.

If i can get past the monotony and the simpletons that may come my way at a warehouse, it boils down to a challenging and rewarding time.

Social life?: Other than having a few people over for Memorial Day, it's been pretty quiet. Last Saturday I worked until six p.m. and hoofed it over to The Flywheel to see some bands. I was reminded of the power of music and laughter yet again. The Flywheel is a great venue. The room itself is really nice. All the bands i was able to see were really cool too. My friend Jon cited that when we were getting into punk back in 1988, a lot of the kids at the show weren't even born yet. They carried the torch pretty well though. I just stood back and took it all in.

I would like very much to go to lunch with people again. it happened early this year and we had a great time. I'm usually (until September, of course) free between eleven a.m. and one p.m.

I'm almost done. The dryer is drying my undies and i'm steeping some nice tea for iced tea.

Maybe getting up earlier than usual was a good thing.

I really missed writing.

www.flywheelarts.org/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/23632423@N02/sets/