hike.

if...

As an idea and writing exercise, i decided to start a post 'thread' called 'if...'

I am doing this purely for fun and take a hypothetical situation, examine it and put it back on the shelf.

This 'if..' is: if i came into 100 million dollars.

The first thing i would do is hire an accountant and a lawyer. Both will be invaluable to my needs now and into my future.

I would then buy out of my current phone account. I would purchase two pay as you go phones, on for my self and one for Terri.

I would give my new number only to immediate family, the lawyer and accountant.

I would then rent or purchase a smaller sized recreational vehicle, and begin my (our) second trip across this great land. 

The reason is that i wanted to do this again and to look for cities or towns that i would but a condo to live in and to use when i needed. 

I would spend my time going to these places over and over until bored. 

After a three to six month hiatus, we would return home.  I would then rent a good sized hall or eatery, invite all of the rest of my family ( our immediate families would be taken care of indefinitely) and ask that they bring any statement of debt (i.e.: mortgage, car payment) that i would allow a ONE TIME PAYMENT of that debt.

I would also set up a charity or foundation in my name.  I would try to bring good music back to the area i live in and would encourage art and music for children in need. 

If i had 100 million dollars, i would be wise and compassionate. 

Visuals 8.

Visuals: insidious, true detective, cabin fever, star trek: deep space nine. 

Audio: swans, off!, john coltrane, hendeka, kondor. 

Reading: Recombo DNA, Star Trek: Enterprise- The Romulan War. 

Serious.

Here is a merry go round. It keeps going around and around. It's colorful lights and music add to the fun you'll have on the merry go round. 

But underneath is a grind of oiled gears. Underneath is the dust and detritus that

keeps the fun running. 

Those beautiful woods, gardens and flower patches you admire as you go for a stroll through?

They would not exist without the death, decay and rot that allows them to live.

In India, when a body is given to the river, as per ritual, the body sinks at the mouth of the river.  Said mouth of the river has one of the most succulent crabs this side of The Chesapeake. 

 I hope you are seeing the connection. 

Now, i am a serious person. I really like to  think about current, past and future choices and situations that i am involved in. I enjoy deep music and am in avoidance of 'small talk.'  This makes me an marginal person of interest to most. Those i do know, i can start up the same conversation that was left off upon at last interaction. 

This being said, those who are happy go lucky, easy going or are so completely oblivious are ones who think that someone such as my self as off putting, odd or 'rotting' their happiness or bliss.

I have found little or no company in the truly happy. 

They scare me. 

It makes me think that something underneath their veneer is so rank, so wretched that no totem of cheer could hide. 

I forget the quote or who said it, i even tried to find it.  It is: 'Only the serious people can laugh.'

I interpret this as: only people who have gone through pain, loss or suffering and have come up from those depths are allowed to laugh.'  We have earned it. 

We are the ones who have suffered the rot and stagnant pond of despair, depression, loss and any general malaise you can muster. 

If you are reading this and think that i'm depressed or upset, then stop. 

This isn't for you, because you've never had your nose in shit.  

Visuals 7.

Legacy.

I was trying to find a way to commemorate this day, as it is in honor of   Martin Luther King Jr's birth. 

I didn't want to use the same cliché 'I have a dream' post.

Frankly, his vision of tolerance and peace is well ingrained in our society,and i consider myself a descendant of his visions.  He lived to serve and his words echo even 50+ years later. A true human in every sense of the word. 

Anyway, here is an image for you.  It is a little graphic, but also shows the length to which humans will go to, to protect the sanctity of life:

But wait! There's more.  Here is an explanation of the origin of said photo: http://www.snopes.com/photos/medical/klaner.asp

BUT, this is an extremely powerful image. One that resonates to this day.  The folks were judged by their character, and not by the color of their skin. 

Dammit!

Liberated.

I just liberated my self from a rather bad situation, and i'm all the better for it.

No more moderating on that stupid subreddit with the creator- who has been in absentia- and left me to run things  BY MYSELF for almost a year now.

No more double standards from my so called peers.

No more trying to open conversations with others, to help me understand my generation more, and to find like minded people. 

Redditors are a very fickle bunch, what's worse is a Redditor who was born between 1965-1980 and parades around the term 'GenX' like it's some uppity badge that makes us any better (i was born in 1973) than those who came before or after us. 

I am so glad to dump this silly ideology because i was born at a certain part of a timeline. 

Blah blah, the boomers are taking everything. And boo hoo, the millennials (here's some irony- we raised them!) are a bunch of participation trophy winning entitled brats. 

The blinders are off and the fool's parade can continue without me.

I feel oddly liberated and learned the most from quitting moderation of this sub, in the past five minutes, than i had in the almost two years of research, editing, overseeing and generally dodging bullets from those who choose to remain mediocre and 'too cool for the new school.'

So, screw /r/GenX.

I did my time.  Now the shackles are off and i can go back to being me and not me as a GenXer. 

Oh, we're so great because the last cool stuff happened when we were young. 

Keep that mentality up and stay stuck in the past. 

Sayonara.