Serious.

Here is a merry go round. It keeps going around and around. It's colorful lights and music add to the fun you'll have on the merry go round. 

But underneath is a grind of oiled gears. Underneath is the dust and detritus that

keeps the fun running. 

Those beautiful woods, gardens and flower patches you admire as you go for a stroll through?

They would not exist without the death, decay and rot that allows them to live.

In India, when a body is given to the river, as per ritual, the body sinks at the mouth of the river.  Said mouth of the river has one of the most succulent crabs this side of The Chesapeake. 

 I hope you are seeing the connection. 

Now, i am a serious person. I really like to  think about current, past and future choices and situations that i am involved in. I enjoy deep music and am in avoidance of 'small talk.'  This makes me an marginal person of interest to most. Those i do know, i can start up the same conversation that was left off upon at last interaction. 

This being said, those who are happy go lucky, easy going or are so completely oblivious are ones who think that someone such as my self as off putting, odd or 'rotting' their happiness or bliss.

I have found little or no company in the truly happy. 

They scare me. 

It makes me think that something underneath their veneer is so rank, so wretched that no totem of cheer could hide. 

I forget the quote or who said it, i even tried to find it.  It is: 'Only the serious people can laugh.'

I interpret this as: only people who have gone through pain, loss or suffering and have come up from those depths are allowed to laugh.'  We have earned it. 

We are the ones who have suffered the rot and stagnant pond of despair, depression, loss and any general malaise you can muster. 

If you are reading this and think that i'm depressed or upset, then stop. 

This isn't for you, because you've never had your nose in shit.  

Visuals 7.

Legacy.

I was trying to find a way to commemorate this day, as it is in honor of   Martin Luther King Jr's birth. 

I didn't want to use the same cliché 'I have a dream' post.

Frankly, his vision of tolerance and peace is well ingrained in our society,and i consider myself a descendant of his visions.  He lived to serve and his words echo even 50+ years later. A true human in every sense of the word. 

Anyway, here is an image for you.  It is a little graphic, but also shows the length to which humans will go to, to protect the sanctity of life:

But wait! There's more.  Here is an explanation of the origin of said photo: http://www.snopes.com/photos/medical/klaner.asp

BUT, this is an extremely powerful image. One that resonates to this day.  The folks were judged by their character, and not by the color of their skin. 

Dammit!

Liberated.

I just liberated my self from a rather bad situation, and i'm all the better for it.

No more moderating on that stupid subreddit with the creator- who has been in absentia- and left me to run things  BY MYSELF for almost a year now.

No more double standards from my so called peers.

No more trying to open conversations with others, to help me understand my generation more, and to find like minded people. 

Redditors are a very fickle bunch, what's worse is a Redditor who was born between 1965-1980 and parades around the term 'GenX' like it's some uppity badge that makes us any better (i was born in 1973) than those who came before or after us. 

I am so glad to dump this silly ideology because i was born at a certain part of a timeline. 

Blah blah, the boomers are taking everything. And boo hoo, the millennials (here's some irony- we raised them!) are a bunch of participation trophy winning entitled brats. 

The blinders are off and the fool's parade can continue without me.

I feel oddly liberated and learned the most from quitting moderation of this sub, in the past five minutes, than i had in the almost two years of research, editing, overseeing and generally dodging bullets from those who choose to remain mediocre and 'too cool for the new school.'

So, screw /r/GenX.

I did my time.  Now the shackles are off and i can go back to being me and not me as a GenXer. 

Oh, we're so great because the last cool stuff happened when we were young. 

Keep that mentality up and stay stuck in the past. 

Sayonara. 

Tomb (of the flu.)

The fog kept on rolling in as the unseasonably warm weather make quick work of the previous snowfall. I watched out of my window, finding the grey outside comforting, as i gulped down my third cup of dark, black coffee.

My next move would be to make food for next week and to watch another kid friendly movie.

I have to remember that i cannot over salty meals, as my sense of taste is virtually nil. 

This is my third day imprisoned by this nasty flu/cold/pink eye that had cut a swathe through the 10 Clark since before the new year.

This affliction snuck under our door and has crept through our hall like a forgotten specter.

And it's icy chill has my immune system in it's grips.

Maybe i was looking out of the window to see the friends that were coming in from Ontario and Fall River?  Would they put their health at risk to see myself and the family?  

No, they have been warned and one said he'd rather have AIDS than pink eye. 

So let the rain wash away the rest of this runny nose and introverted lethargy.  At least i still have my family and a warm home to which my sickness may dwell.

And i've had too much coffee.

For you, dad.

Painting for Nani.

 At Th Smith Botanical Greenhouse.

 Dealing with dad's weirdness.

 Opening gifts on Christmas.

 New Year's Eve with Jasper.

 First nap in new bed.  No more crib!

 At the children's museum.

 With mom at the children's museum.

 Superhero astronaut.

 With santa, 2013.

 Commander Elsie Maureen Fowler.

End of the year?

This year was a whopper.

This was easily one of the most challenging and yet rewarding years i have had in recent memory.

First off, i turned forty.  

My body decided to make me allergic to all nuts ( i was down to cashews and almonds- they are out) then there was the massive tooth infection/ extraction as well as the usual bumps and bruises, and  me trying to be an active father, that have been the real challenge.

I look forward to sleep.  I take afternoon naps.  In the past i would fly as fast and high as i could, ever reaching new heights of glory due to spontaneity and vigor, and now?

I am in more balance and in more focus than i have ever been in.

I have whittled away the parts of me that did not promote further growth for my self-and especially my family-and have been pleasantly happy with the results.

Do you want to know what the key was?

A huge part of it was listening and enjoying the music of my youth.  The music i first enjoyed outside of the main stream sounds i was accustomed to.  I am talking about the stiff i listened to BEFORE i conformed to punk and BEFORE i wore the uniform and flew the flag.

The music of later Black Flag, Skinny Puppy, old Rollins Band, The Velvet Underground.  They all gave me my initial spark and have re-invigorated my sense of interest in well, being myself.

That long summer of 1988.  The end of my innocence and the beginning of my great adventure that still continues to this day.

Ok. Happy New One.  To all three of my readers.